pretend to be sophisticated

i break out the bottles
of wine when i want
to pretend to be
sophisticated

the other days its
whatever cheap
liquor is nearby

i’m not a picky
person

never had the
money to be
so

as sexy as she thinks possible

another night of
the heroin beauties
laughing in my face

asking me to go
dance on the train
tracks at midnight
with the rest of them

i’m more at ease
with a lonely bottle
of brandy and some
coltrane playing in
the background

she flashed me a
nipple and licked
her lips

you don’t know
what you are missing
she whispered as sexy
as she thinks possible

i laughed, i’m too old
to be eager to get a
sexually transmitted
disease

sorry ladies, if you
would have caught
me twenty years
ago

i would have been
on those train tracks
begging to be crucified

but don’t worry

there’s bound to be a
desperate soul stumble
through here soon

four hours of sleep

i don’t get more
than four hours
of sleep at night

my brain refuses
to shut off anymore

i laugh when i see
the clock around
five after hitting
the pillow around
three

i believe some
people call it
insomnia

i’m pretty sure
it’s the solid base
to build my insanity
upon

whatever gets me
the better drugs